Notes on masculinity
I’m no role model of masculinity. These are aspirational, rather than autobiographical.
Self-reliance is the essence of masculinity. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help, it just means it’s on you to put it into practice.
The ultimate masculine urge is to be useful.
Toxic masculinity is repressing your emotions. Weak masculinity is indulging your emotions. Healthy masculinity is controlling your emotions.
Masculinity is about having emotional range. Stoic when the moment demands, vulnerable when the moment allows.
It’s a man’s responsibility to master his own masculinity and pay it forward through parenthood or mentorship.
Masculinity requires you to tame the demons you’re taught to ignore and learn how to use them to your advantage.
Untamed masculinity corrupts the competitive spirit. True competition isn’t about beating others, but getting the opportunity to realise your full potential.
Masculinity requires solitude, not loneliness. Solitude is being alone by choice. Loneliness is being alone by circumstance.
Boys become men by doing hard things. Those who don’t will forever remain a boy in a man’s body.
Problem-solving is a form of empathy, you just have to learn when to use it.
Masculinity comes in many different forms. There’s no singular archetype.
The world is starving for positive male role models. Nothing is more destructive than a lost boy being led astray by an insecure man.
Men are hardwired to provide, but that doesn’t mean they need to be the only provider.
Men can care about their appearance, it just has to come from a place of self-acceptance rather than self-loathing.
Masculinity in today’s world isn’t about suppressing your strength and aggression, but learning to control them.
Real men buy flowers and don’t expect anything in return.
The secure man listens more than he talks.
Commitment and loyalty to another person are signs of strength, not weakness.
All forms of masculinity involve the pursuit of competence and selfless service.
Masculinity is synonymous with strength, but strength isn’t just physical. Admitting you’re wrong is exponentially harder than benching two plates.
Insecure men objectify women to try to impress other insecure men.
Humility is the most overlooked requirement of masculinity.
Masculinity isn’t defined by what car you drive but by what good you’ve done to afford it.
The most inherent masculine desire is to protect and provide, and that includes both physically and emotionally.
The man who needs to prove his strength is the weakest in the room.
Men need brothers, not drinking partners. Someone who’d show up for you when there’s nothing in it for them. You also need to return the favour.
It’s much harder to love than to hate. Hence, the strong man loves, and the weak man hates.
Courage is the foundational masculine virtue, but most fixate on physical courage and neglect intellectual courage.
The greatest masculine act is to dedicate your life to something bigger than yourself.